If you don’t mind being seen stuffing your face like a goddamn pig on the local news by all your past girlfriends/boyfriends, hit up Pete’s Grille this Friday for their annual Pancake Eating Contest. There are divisions for both men and women, each with a $500 prize, which could be put toward a potentially much-needed gym membership. But if you think you can stretch your waistline all the way to a new record, you eat for free at Pete’s until your record is beaten. Hang out there enough and you may even end up eating pancakes alongside Michael Phelps, as you both cure hangovers, or more likely, some serious cases of the munchies. The competition will be fierce, the show for spectators will be hilarious, and the food will be delicious. Also, amateurs only. Give us mere mortals a chance. (Ellen Brait)